"I dared not report anything because I was clearly warned that my life would be in jeopardy should I do so.
I had no means to protect myself, being only 23 and scared for my life. After being raped, I performed acts by request. "My first week or so in general population was hell on earth.
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The prison he was first sent to did actually have a separate tier for gay inmates, but according to Rodney, because he did not "appear overly effeminate" during his classification, he was placed with the general population and because it was supposedly rare to have a gay person slip through the cracks of the system, his fellow inmates took full advantage. Within days of his first entering prison, the 23-year-old Rodney claimed he was the victim of three separate sexual assaults, involving five different inmates. His account suggests that far from being a paradise, prison for gay men can be a living hell. He described a litany of brutal rapes, assaults, beatings and, eventually, the total abandonment of his male identity as his only means of survival in the hyper-masculine and often homophobic prison environment. One young man named Rodney, imprisoned for fraud and check-forging, sent me a detailed account of his life so far in prison. The reality of life in prison for homosexuals and transgender individuals does not appear to reflect this myth. His death sentence was later overturned (mostly because Burdine's public defender had slept through much of his trial), but the homophobic thinking – that prison is some kind of paradise for gay men – lingers on. After 17 minutes of deliberation, the jury obliged and sentenced Burdine to die. Good luck.I n 1984, when Calvin Burdine was awaiting sentencing for allegedly stabbing his gay lover to death, the prosecuting attorney encouraged the jury in his closing remarks to award Burdine the death penalty, rather than life in prison, on the grounds that sending a gay man to prison was akin to sending a kid to a candy store. But if you tell a guy whose muscles you've just worshipped about your struggles and he reacts with kindness and compassion, Yahtzee: he could be the right muscle guy for you. If the guy you've just shared that with is an insensitive asshole about it, THINMAN, then he did you favor by letting you know he's the wrong guy for you. So when a muscle guy who's into you makes a comment that could set you back, tell him that's not something you're comfortable talking about and tell him why: you've struggled with anorexia and body dysmorphia and you've gotten help but, at least for now, convos about diet, exercise, haircuts, etc., aren't helpful. You've had some challenges and you've cleared a lot of hurdles and you're working with a therapist to help you clear the remaining hurdles-that's nothing to be ashamed of, THINMAN. Learn to take yes for an answer, THINMAN.Īs for what's most problematic-fitness routines or diets or even hairstyles coming up in conversation-you're going to have to use your words. Remember: while there are lots of gay men out there who seem to be attracted to guys who look just like them-bears who wanna be with bears, twinks who wanna be with twinks, gymbods who wanna be with gymbods-there's no shortage of guys who are attracted to their opposites: bears into twinks, twinks into bears, gymbods into skinny dudes. So even if you're not their exact same type, you are their type-which means you are in their league, THINMAN. Muscle dudes who get off on having their muscles worshiped respond to your messages and they hook up with you and plenty of them are open to dating you. (If you do wind up dating someone who isn't stacked, don't hide your kink from him-hell, you could wind up stumbling over a lovely, non-stacked guy who shares your kink, THINMAN, and the two of you can worship muscle guys as a team.)Īnd with all that said, THINMAN, and, um, just having just reread your letter, it doesn't sound like you're having any trouble attracting the kind of guys you're into. If you can't, well, change the preference settings on your Grindr and Scruff back to stacked.
If you can, great: you have more potential partners to choose from. (Some people don't have a choice-someone with a centaur fetish is going to have to settle for non-centaur.) So you might want to change the preference settings on your Grindr and Scruff accounts and experiment with a few guys who aren't stacked-just to see if you can click with guys who don't live at the gym. That said, THINMAN, many people get with/fall in love with/build lives with partners who aren't their physical ideals.